We’ve got some good roundball action on the slate for today:

All your comments are belong to us!!*

*translation: feel free to drop us a line or threveteen in the comments

*because I have no vehicle here and Outback is within walking distance.

Montana (Big Sky) and Robert Morris (NEC) are headed to The Dance.  I guarantee one of them attempts to pull off The Weedeater.

The BCS’ PR machine is a joke…not because the guy seems like a noob (cause he just may be), but because it’s completely unnecessary.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

DA regrets his comments.  The missing information is that he actually only regrets that he made his comments public.  Oops.

How to destroy beisbol in one easy step.  I’m listening.

Speaking of beisbol, the CDC seems to be reaching out to Jetes.

Sounds like they’re bringing big boy football to South Bend.

Be a Jerk, join this NCAA tournament group.

Something about the Big Televen tourney.

Just an innocent question: what are the odds that an entire household would have ADD?

The Braves could save money AND prevent those pesky W’s from appearing in the box scores by keeping Jason heyward in the minors.  Solid plan!

I kid you not, Jerry Jones is a genius.

Herb is coming back!

Win the ACC Atlantic Division title, get a $900k raise.  Sweet. *please let me grow up to be an ACC football coach, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!!*

To be or not to be a #1 seed…

Enjoy 311 day!  I will. These should get you in the mood:

Before getting to the link-splosion, I’d like to give a shoutout to ol’ Lewis Medlock.  I for a speedy recovery from your recent heart surgery.

There is no good reason to change the face of the $50.  Keep. General. Grant.

Kansas > Kansas State.

I haven’t really had/taken the opportunity to opine about Tennessee’s win over Kentucky.  I’d like to cede my 5 minutes to the LWS folks: Coach Cal’s a baby, and imitations of the John Wall “dance”.  By the way, who else thinks the “John Wall” dance is straight up dumb?

Les Miles, a.k.a. The Hat, held a practice Spring press conference.  Sounds like things went well.

Maryland > Dook.

The newest Old Spice commercial stars a former Sun Devil wide receiver.  Personally, I think the commercial is very funny.

Beadlemaniacs has some good college roundball action going on…too many good posts to link them all, so I’ll just send you to their new, snazzy homepage.

Extreme videos

Justin Upton is about to get PAID!

I know I’ve told you guys about 200 times already, but some of you are obviously not listening: don’t pee on power lines!

If the newspapers were free, did the players actually steal them?  (plenty of unintentional comedy in this link)

That’s…hella zeros.

I’d like to become a crappy NASCAR driver too (see Dave Blaney’s average finish and winnings).

NFL collusion!

Memo to the internet: It’s ok to post pics of Erin Andrews again.

Who are the Elite Eight of basketball coaches?

I hope you all have a great Thursday and can finish out the week strong!  By the way, if you didn’t wish MikeyCHX a happy birthday last night, you’re a turd.  Do it here.

As you may or may not be aware, Ole Miss is a bunch of Rebels without a cause mascot.  Who or what will be the next animated character to roam the sidelines in Oxford?  It looks like it may come down to a vote.  I searched far and wide to prove this was a joke, but, by all accounts, it seems to be for serious…Admiral Ackbar is gaining steam towards becoming Ole Miss’ new mascot.  How many effing times are we gonna hear “It’s a trap!!” when an opposing team is in an unusual punt formation, lines up in a spread formation, or shows a on-side kick look?  Not enough times, that’s how many.  Please, Ole Miss, make this happen. 

Timmy’s got quite a t-shirt collection.

The most badassity badass leopard ever!

Lane Kiffin News!  Kiffin spoke to the Knoxville News Sentinel about his confusion, regrets, and things he would have done different to be a bigger peen.

A former Jaguar and his wife are dirtbags of the highest order.

7 minutes of unintentional sportscaster comedy gold:

My mission the remainder of the week is to work the following quotes into everyday conversation as much as possible: “You gotta guard Merv!  YOU GOTTA GUARD MERV!!”, and “Hopefully, we’ll have more news tomorrow…on this station.”

College football player movers and shakers.

In an absolute ultimate fail, an iceskating coach coached his pupil all the way from a sure gold medal straight into disqualification in the matter of seconds.

Radio mouth-breather vs. Oregon head coach.

Walmart bathroom etiquette…you’re only cheating yourself if you don’t read the comments with this one.

Spoiler alert!! (I’m assuming this game was tape delayed and hasn’t beem aired yet.)  Canada trounced Russia last night! So, we beat the Canadians, the Canadians beat the Russians…so we win the Cold War, right?

The full medal standings, so far…

Paul Sturgess, the tallest college hoops player in the land:

I’m already pretty stoked about the World Cup getting started.

Awesome.  The #2 overall pick in last year’s NBA draft has been benched.

Something something about the Majick.

I hope you all have a greaet rest of the day.  Stick around…hopefully, we’ll have more news tomorrow today…on this station.

That’s how it’s done, people.

In today’s “news of the dirtbags” section of TMA, Mark McGwire apologized again, Donte Stallworth has signed with the Ravens, Tiger Woods is saying something Friday morning, and Lindsay Vonn won a gold medal (listen, if you don’t think NBC concocted this whole “feel good story” and Vonn wasn’t in on it, you’re out of your mofo mind…she was faking the whole time).

So, the Cavaliers traded for A’m'a’r'e Stoudemire Antawn Jamison.  This means they won the title, right?  By the way, there’s some new unwritten rule on the internet now…something about having to mention the Majick whenever talking about the Cavs. So here’s my Majick mention: there’s not going to be a rematch in the Eastern Conference Finals because the Majick aren’t making it that far.  I don’t know why they aren’t, I just have a feeling that they won’t. There…obligatory Majick reference is out of the way.

Some Happy thoughts on NBA trades.

Look out, Tim!!

Clampson to the SEC!?

Kyle “Shrub” Busch popped the question (I took the liberty of googling her for you, I know you were about to do it)…then he  fell asleep (in the “Oyyy…” section).

The America’s Cup is ours again!  Preppy’s rejoice!!

Obummer 2012!!

Rethinking the medal count.

Madison Square Garden = pwned.

I KNOW you wanted to know where cosmic rays come from…now you know.

It’s about time somebody put a soundtrack to the video of that old dood bustin’ the young punk’s azz:

Mizerle06 is a senior writer and editor for Sparty & Friends. Email him at mizerle06@gmail.com.

Cavs in 1.

How have I not heard about Netball?

THE race to end all races…until one of them trips up and somebody shoots ‘em.

Remember that whole thing about Johnny Damon to the Braves from yesterday?  Just kidding(?)…again.

The Rams were sold.

PH*CK VANDY!!

Ana.

The inventor of frisbee passed away.  Ultimate frisbee players across the country will be pouring one out tonight and screaming “ULTIMAAAAAAATE!!!!”

Yesterday’s Bud Shootouts went to Jimmy Johnson and Kasey Kahne.  No question in my mind now that the 500 will be won by Mark Martin now.

The real cost of Kobe’s All-Star weekend party.

Fail:

At one point, Le attacked Pham with a beer bottle, cutting his face. Pham then punched Le, dislocating his jaw. As the fight continued, Pham reportedly put Le in a chokehold; Le, in turn, grabbed Pham’s testicles, “puncturing them with his fingers,” Herrin said. Le refused medical treatment but Pham was taken to Lower Keys Medical Center, where he received a total of 52 stitches for his injuries.

ROIDS!!!!

I like the part about how a bunch of the Lakers never read Phil’s recommended books.

UNC’s Roy Williams is sorry he’s a dumbass and has no mouth filter.

Big dummy…if the Super Bowl was played in a stadium that held 200,000 fans, I’m sure they’d still pack it out.

Sources tell me that Frank Thomas’ 11:00 am press conference is to announce his retirement.

Here’s a good idea from Big Baby – compare the blackness of Nawlins to the whiteness of Bwoston.

5th bullet down: 8-5 is campaigning for TO.

Re: Pac 10 expansion – Utah > BYU.

Some retroactive Fulmer Cup points may be awarded.

I hope you all have a great Friday!  Stick around.

Mizerle06 is a senior writer and editor for Sparty and Friends.  If you don’t want to email him, don’t copy and paste mizerle06@gmail.com into the address bar of your composed emails.

/end rant

That felt good…

Valentine’s Day is coming up.  Get your significant other these roses and sit back and watch the inevitable 24 hours straight of deliberate vacuuming.

The SI cover jinx strikes again.

A reasonable college basketball top 25.

Dey took ur joobs!!!

If you’re flying American anytime soon, I’d go ahead and mentally prepare yourself for buying your bag the equivalent of its own personal ticket.

Bonnaroo is on its way and the lineup has been released.  Not bad.

Did Johnny Damon REALLY get offered by the Braves?  I’ll believe it when I’m not linking another team to him next Thursday.

Conspiracy.

I’m not sure which aspect of this story it is that I find so funny, but I just can’t help but chuckle while reading it.

Lame Kiffin is at it again.

2 tons?  2 tons.  2 tons!!!!

Uh oh…the face of the Bucknuts had kuh-nee surgery.

The USA Basketball national team pool has been announced.   There are 27 players total with 9 returning representatives from the 2008 gold-medal-winning team.  Why are these numbers important/significant?  Because 27 divided by 9 is 3, and 3 is my favorite number after the number 17.

By the way, since we’ve already mentioned the Winter Olympics, the Summer Olympics, and basketball, this brings me to a mind-bender I’ve been thinking about…why is basketball a Summer Olympics sport?  For serious, why?  The season for the top professional league in the world (the NBA, for those of you who were unaware) spans from the fall, into winter, and finishes up around the end of spring.  And, it’s not like the game is dependent on the weather…it’s played under a roof.  I ask again: why isn’t olympic basketball a part of the Winter Olympic games?  Chew on that for a while…

Again, speaking of the Olympics, here’s the announcers.

Washington State University making waves in the race for The Cup.

Speedweeks updates: Jimmy Johnson and Joey Logano will each go to his backup car for the 500 and Danica Patrick is still hanging around hogging the airwaves.  By the way, I’m predicting a lot more wrecking on Sunday…NASCAR relaxed the bump drafting rules over the offseason.

A passionate, heartfelt plea to Sports Illustrated.

I prefer to call him Mr. Fantastic. /John

Enjoy your Thursday!

Mizerle06 is a senior writer and senior editor for Sparty & Friends.  You can email me him at mizerle06@gmail.com.

It’s FINALLY here!  We’ve had a long two weeks of the media beating every possible angle into the ground, and now it’s time for the Colts and Saints to take the field and square off.  You may think the big players are some guy named Peyton and another guy named Drew.

Nay, I say.  The reality is, the biggest storyline and matchup is the battle of the Reggies.  Only the winner gets to retain the name Reggie.  The loser has to wear shorty-short jorts to next weekend’s Pro Bowl in Hawaii the mall.

Below, you will find ample space to give us your predictions and thoughts on the game before, during, and after.  Get on it.

So yesterday’s Signing Day action was pretty exciting.  Here’s a sneak preview of what’s to come.

Punxsutawney Phil pitched his controversial wedge.

Speaking of The 500, Danica may be there.

The Sun has beef with the Winter Olympics.

I’m only linking this because I’m genuinely shocked…shocked that this guy was still alive.  If you would have asked me last week what Leif Garrett was doing, I likely would have told you he was dead, and I would have been completely serious.  I’m really shocked here.

I swear the entire mainstream media is trying to reverse-jinx Peyton Manning and the Colts.

Haven’t heard much anything from Tyler Hansbrah this season.

Joe Torre didn’t wait too long to go all Hollywood on us.

Party on.  Excellent.  *does air guitar riff*

Quick! Somebody call the WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMBULANCE!!!

Dating during the Super Bowl stats.

Ken Griffey Sr. is glad his son didn’t roid up.  Conversely, Daryl Strawberry wishes he had partaken in some enhancement (very last line).

Awesome…the Titans already got one old, broken down QB.  Why not add another?

East Lansing, Michigan…Glasgow, Scotland…same thing.

I wasn’t aware that D-Coordinators were part of Signing Day.

The latest on Paul Pierce.

Drew Brees is ’bout to get PAID!

Peyton Manning is ’bout to get PAID!

Mizerle06 is a senior writer and editor at Sparty & Friends.  You may contact him at mizerle06@gmail.com.  Have a great morning!

You may be asking yourself, “What about the State of Mizerle06?”  That’s very thoughtful and selfless of you to ask.  Well, in a nutshell, I’m nervous.  Today is my last day of not being back in school.  I’ll be heading to Gainesville for MBA orientation in approximately 23 hours from when this post pops up on the front page (cross your fingers I don’t get pulled over in Waldo).  Luckily, I get to chill a bit this evening as me and Mrs. Mizerle06 are meeting up with Patphish and Mrs. Patphish at Caps on the Water.  Ahhh, who am I kidding?  I’m nervous about that too.  What if Patphish doesn’t like me?  Am I supposed to be reading the book and he’s supposed to be holding a single, long-stemmed rose?  Or is it the other way around?  Either way, if you’re in the area, join us.

So I saw this incredible time-waster linked somewhere yesterday.  You think of a famous character, real or fictional.  The genie asks you questions about your character and eventually guesses it.  He was spot on when I was thinking of Shrek and Keanu Reeves.  He missed Jon Crompton though.  Among the questions he was asking were these gems: “Is your character dark-skinned?”, and “Does your character often cry.”  Awesome.

Since these guys aren’t a Michigan State website just like we aren’t, I thought I’d link this post about Sparty.

Numbers and head-nodding-worthy music.

Dear Vikings fans: Relax.

Grading the 2010 NFL draft QB prospects’ tangible attributes.

“Woe is me.” “No, woe is ME.”

No doubt that Phil read our post and decided to weigh in…”golf needs him (Tiger) to come back.”

Sign the contract.  I don’t need any more nervousness.

By the way, I had an epiphany on how to fix the Pro Bowl.  Move it back to the week after the Super Bowl and back in Hawaii and have the NFL guarantee a $10k donation to the charity of each participating player’s choice.  Boom.  Problem solved.  /Just wanted to throw that out there…

The mystery behind the missing eyebrows has been solved.

Charlie Manuel stopped his ‘roids cycles dropped a bunch of weight.

If LeBron ever truly wishes to be The King, precedence says he needs to start bagging some ho’s.

Cold weather sux.

CDR to the Grizz!!!! (prolly not)

Unless Iowa’s basketball arena is a garage, an average attendance of 4,591 is embarassing.

These clowns are pretty funny in their attempted pwnage of Lonely Island. I still laugh at “I’m On A Boat” and “Jizz In My Pants” so whatever:

Mizerle06 is a senior writer and senior editor, and you can reach his senior rear at his senior email address – mizerle06@gmail.com.

It’s the 21st century…where are all the flying cars and clothes that automatically dry themselves in case I fall in a reflecting pool while being chased by a bunch of thugs on a hoverboard?  At least the laser gun looks like it might be a reality.

ESPN pulled out all the stops and busted out the thesaurus for its latest Jets article.

Looks like the Vikings are solidifying their built-in excuses for when they get waxed by the Saints this weekend.

So, slime molds are better than we are at decongesting traffic.  Awesome, we suck.

Something something about the Mets.  I didn’t read it.

The best of the Conan vs. Leno vs. NBC quips.  Tonight is reportedly Conan’s last night on the Tonight Show.  I wish him well in his endeavors and will watch wherever he pops back up.

The skinny on college basketball rebounding margin.

I didn’t think the ombudsman was particularly tough on ESPN, but some thought he came down hard enough.

Ahem…LeBron > Kobe…last night at least.  We’ll see come May or June or July, whenever the NBA Playoffs get here.

NASCAR’s finally gonna relax a little and let ‘em race.  Anybody else going to the Daytona 500 here in a few weeks?  I’m about 95% certain that me and the mrs. will be spending Valentine’s Day there.  Yes, I am a hopeless romantic.

Earth to the Jaguars!  Nobody wants the naming rights to Jacksonville Municipal Stadium because you don’t ever make an effort to dispute rumors that you’re leaving town!  Although, I don’t have an MBA yet, so who am I to say the “Invest in us!! We may or may not be around for long!!” strategy won’t work in the long run?

How did I not know about this website before yesterday?  I was gonna link a post or two, but just about everything is funny so I’ll just direct you to the home page.

The IRS is auditing the University of Texas.  This never would have happened if they would have just sent their players to work a “job” at a car dealership like their much smarter rivals.

I’ll be here March 19 and 21 if anyone cares to join me.

Anybody got a tissue for John Mara to he can get that egg off his face?

How did I not hear that Kenny Britt was arrested!?  Seriously…first the whatthefux.com website and now this?  A threadjack every once in a while from you guys would be appreciated.

Hey, Dale, it just might have something to do with your last name.

“He loves to vacuum all day — loves to!” Kim said. “He’s going to kill me for saying that.”  Werd, Reggie.  I love to vacuum too.

Yesterday, it was “Johnny Damon to the Braves!?”  Today, it’s “Johnny Damon to the Tigers!?”

Why be so secretive?  Just pay the guy, release a statement to the press, and be done with the topic.

Former Bammer coach and current Jags QB coach Mike Shula may be the frontrunner for the vacant ECU job.  Nevermind…Ruffin McNeill is the Pirates new head coach.

Mizerle06 is a senior writer and editor for Sparty & Friends.  If you’d like to donate to his newly-founded charity where all proceeds are guaranteed to be used to finance his MBA degree as well as various recreational activities, send him an email via mizerle06@gmail.com and he’ll graciously send you the paypal link.

One of the more popular meme’s around these parts is the “/Miz is a redneck” configuration.  Shockingly, I’ll have you know that, despite my East Tennessee roots, I didn’t grow up a country music fan.  In fact, I hated country music until I reached college and decided to give it a real listen.  Now, I dig it pretty hard.  However, while I may have despised country music growing up, my first favorite singer/band was the Charlie Daniels Band.  Charlie Daniels gets lumped into the country genre, but that’s not entirely accurate.  I would have to say his style is a healthy mix of country, folk, bluegrass, rock-n-roll, and even a little metal utilizing everything from his famous fiddle to banjos, steel guitars, mandolins, and even the occasional dulcimer.

I decided last night I’d dedicate today’s TMA to Charlie Daniels and wanted to post some videos.  I started listening to some of his old stuff I hadn’t listened to in probably 15 years or more and got all sentimental.  I’m gonna save a few videos of my absolute favorites for the end, but in the meantime, I’d suggest you do yourself a favor and open the following links in an adjacent tab as background music while perusing today’s linksauce: “The Legend of Wooley Swamp“, “Stroker Ace“, “A Few More Rednecks“, and “The South’s Gonna Do It Again” (pardon the plethora of rebel flags…unfortunately, some of my uneducated brethren tend to cling to Charlie Daniels a bit too much).

Now that S&F-favorite Ana Ivanovic has been knocked out Down Under, is there any reason not to cancel the rest of the tourney?  (More?  More…)

Dear Knoxvillians…GIVE IT A REST!!

21st Century husbands, FTW!

Did Carlton Fisk miss the point?

Mike Leach to East Carolina (the ECU nickname and mascot is, of course, the Pirates)?

Note to self: never get a facial in an Oakland salon.

I know I haven’t properly addressed Tennessee’s recently hired football coach, Derek Dooley.  I’m giving it time to marinate and percolate.  In the meantime, here’s some analysis in the form of a superb post title and a brilliant picture.

NBC’s getting a little testy.

College basketball midseason awards.  Jim Bowheem = coach of the year, for realz?

The most dangerous job in sports is… (insert drum roll).  Speaking of ol’ Urb…

Johnny Damon to the Braves!?  Eric Gagne to the Phillies!?

Southern Cal beats South Cackalacky.

I know you’ve all been on pins and needles with baited breath and anxiously awaiting word on the pending sale of the St. Louis Rams.  Or not.

Tom Verducci’s an idiot.  Werd.

D-Ho aint no leader, yet.

Lots of words about the 4 possible Super Bowl matchups.

Hokietron?  WTF!?

The greatest lyrical story ever told – “Uneasy Rider”:

It’s a crime (literally and figuratively) to speak of Charlie Daniels and not directly reference “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”:

Finally, I leave you with a true anthem of the South, “Long Haired Country Boy”:

Consider yourself cultured.

Mizerle06 is a senior writer and editor at Sparty & Friends. You can send him youtube links of Charlie Daniels music throughout the day at mizerle06@gmail.com.

Look, Gene, I know you’re an alum with a much larger platform and audience then most, but the AD?  Really??  I’m not following your justifications on this.

The only obvious solution to this growing problem is to kill all the birds.

I like this little gadget.  It takes Pete Carroll approximately 25 games to equal my salary.  He’s obviously a chump.

Speaking of Petey, this strategy worked so well for The Ol’ Ball Coach that it must be repeated!

College football!!  Numbers!!!!  W00T!! (2004-2009 aggregate wins and losses)

Super Bowl advertising prices have dropped, but are still pretty high.

This is just straight up ri-di-cu-lous.

Just because: I think we all may need to brush up on Will Muschamp’s history…I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

Food fight!!

This NFL antitrust stuff sounds all lawyer-y and important.  Someone explain it please.

Nick $aban would never tie his shoes during a game.  If they became untied, he would follow standard protocol and curse them to hell.  Therefore, $aban > Mack Brown.

Sandy Koufax speaks!

Patphish has got next, right after Knightro gets rolled.

350 per second?  Pffffffffffffffffft…weaksauce.

The Astros are…how should I say this?…expensive?  Yeah, expensive.

The best ever recruiting class in the history of the best ever classes ever!?!?  Yes.

Have a good day and stick around.

61 seconds.

That’s all we got.  Maybe that’s all we were worth.

Lane Kiffin was brash, he redefined hubris, he sold the Tennessee football program as well as anybody before him.  That’s probably why he was so beloved, so fast in Knoxville.  We all bought into his act and believed it was all calculated for the express intent of redirecting the football program’s momentum from its downward slope.

For the 9 months preceding the 2009 college football season, Tennessee fans grinned through gritted teeth while Kiffin jabbed opposing intra-conference coaches, many of whom had already established championship resumes. We actually enjoyed having a coach willing to levy pre-emptive strikes on Gainesville, Tuscaloosa, Athens, and Columbia. We were awed by the rush of 4-and 5-star recruits who started switching allegiances and ultimately signed to play in Knoxville. The Kid was on fire and he possessed a sack the size of The Hill filled with snarky comments for every occasion.

Nevermind the occasional secondary violations, nevermind the fact that we were returning a 5-7 team and changing the entire offensive and defensive systems. Tennessee was back!  Bring on Bammer!  Bring on the Gators!!

Yet, through it all, many of us were feeling uncomfortable…uneasy about the methods. Would the ends justify the means? Were we still gonna be waxed by our biggest rivals?  We’d have to wait and see how the games played out on the field. But, why were we so uneasy? We had what we wanted, the opposite of Phil Fulmer.

We talked amongst ourselves about our uneasiness, and knew its source.  Kiffin’s style wasn’t reflective of Tennessee.  His brag first, back it up later mentality was completely opposite of everything General Neyland, Coach Majors, and Coach Fulmer had raised us to expect from our Tennessee program.  Those guys believed in the play on the field doing all of the talking.  The 2009 team had yet to play a down under its new head coach and the bulletin board material was already aplenty in opposing teams’ locker rooms.

Despite all of the inherited and self-made adversity, the 2009 season was a success, even better than the 7-5 win-loss record reflected.  Tennessee took the field in Gainesville and stood its ground.  The Dawgs came for a visit to Knoxville and the Vols ran them out of the building.   It had worked!  Lane Kiffin was crazy like a fox!  He managed to use his brashness to bottle all of the pressure and scrutiny and hoist it onto his shoulders, which, consequently (and OBVIOUSLY part of the plan), allowed the players to play stress-free.  Sheer brilliance!

Yes, the Chick-fil-A Bowl beatdown from Virginia Tech was demoralizing…but only temporarily because the Hokies really were the better team coming into the matchup on paper, and the Vols are required, by law, to play any game in the Georgie Dome with concrete uniforms.  Whatever…all of that was secondary to the fact we were on the cusp of a big recruiting haul on the fast-approaching Signing Day.  Many rating services had Kiffins first full class rated in the top 5 nationally, and 8 of those guys were midterm enrollees, including a 4-star quarterback.  If Kiffin could transform Jon Crompton from the catfish of the SEC into a top 3 quarterback, what could he do with a fresh, talented freshman who was to begin working out on campus this Spring!?

We’ll never know.

Lane Kiffin has performed a miraculous feat…he is now hated by all 12 schools in the SEC.

He gave us 14 months to see what could be, and only required 61 seconds to snatch that away.  I call that being efficient.

Today is 20 days from Signing Day and the first day of the Spring 2010 semester classes.  Those 8 midterm enrollees who were to begin class today and galvanize their relationships with the Tennessee team and family will not be stepping foot in a classroom.  According to multiple sources (including Marlon Walls, a current Tennessee player), Coach Ed Orgeron requested that these 8 highly rated players not attend class so they can begin the process of being recruited by Southern Cal.

Awesome.

So, where is Tennessee football now?  Well…I don’t know.  What I do know is there are 20 days until Signing Day and the Vols are in real danger of having nothing to show in the way of a 2010 class.  I also know that the names being thrown around to fill the open coaching position are somewhat unimpressive: Houston Nutt (Ole Miss), Bobby Petrino (Arkansas), Will Muschamp (Texas), Gary Patterson (TCU), and Troy Calhoun (Air Force).  There’s nothing spectacular and little inspiring on that list.

Firing Fulmer was necessary, I still believe that.  Hiring Kiffin was risky, but the risk had given us a glimpse of great rewards.  However, contrary to Fulmer, Kiffin was unstable.  And guess what..water is wet and hindsight is 20/20. I saw this coming.  I knew Kiffin had no ties whatsoever to Tennessee the school or Tennessee the state.  I picked up on Kiffin’s mannerisms immediately.  Wanna take a guess at who he emulates?  Try this guy…his former boss and mentor.  The words they speak may be different, but their delivery is spot on.  Kiffin essentially assembled a Southern Cal-lite coaching staff at Tennessee to re-establish the recruiting juggernaut he enjoyed at Southern Cal (here’s where Coach O fits in).  It seemed to make too much sense that as soon as Pete Carroll left Southern Cal, Kiffin was the most logical to follow him.  I just thought that time wouldn’t come for another 4 to 5 years, and the reason would be Carroll’s retirement and full-time gig on GameDay.  Then, last Friday happened and Carroll took the deflection route to answering questiong regarding the rumors/reports that he was on his way to Seattle to coach the Seahawks.

Stability will salvage a recruiting class.  None on the above list constitutes a Tennessee guy.  I think there are two options here: open First Tennessee Bank’s vaults and allow Bammer’s Nick Saban to name his price, any price, knowing his commitment is only good for a few years; or, call Duke’s David Cutcliffe and bring him back to Tennessee while naming his price.

In the meantime, I’d like to speak specifically to the Tennessee fans here: SETTLE DOWN!!  Kiffin is not taking your puppies and girlfriends with him to Southern Cal.  Burning mattresses and t-shirts is unnecessary and very West Virginia-ish:

And while we’re addressing the mob-mentality phenomenon, can we please avoid blocking off roads and requiring the occasional tear gas and pepper spray application from the local fuzz?  Please?

I would like to thank sophomore Tennessee Basketball player Renaldo Woolridge for providing front-row seats play-by-play from Gibbs Hall throughout the fiasco.

I don’t really know what else to say at this moment.  I know our program is screwed.  I know this signals a hopefully temporary shift from annual relevancy to annual conference also-ran status.  I feel pretty confident that Mike Hamilton may be the first person ever to not contract the flu, yet still barf and poo his pants simultaneously.

I wrote a post in November, 2008 regarding Phil Fulmer’s firing (can’t find the link…the internet ate it I guess found it!!), and, if memory serves me correctly, I concluded the post by thanking Fulmer for giving his all for Tennessee for 17 years.  This one won’t end on a similar note.

Good riddance, Lane.