Carter and Dunn may sound boring, but can I interest you in Tweety and LaceDarius?

I love it when guys have awesome names. The NCAA Tournament is a great way to collect crazy names. Here are a bunch of lists and rankings of various things. Below each list are a few short comments from me. I should point out that in order to narrow it down to the 75 names you see below, I am only using players who will likely see action in the games. I looked at the names of every player on every team in the tournament. I should however point out that even though I cut out 48 guys for various reasons, I would like to single out three guys who don’t get the playing time to jusify their inclusion. Those players are Bak Bak of Cal, Picasso Simmons of Murray State, and last but first, Just’in-love Smith. Now let’s get down to it…

Four Consecutive Vowels in a Last Name:
1. Joey Accaoui (Vermont)
I had to include this guy because he’s got four different vowels consecutively in his last name and it doesn’t even include a “y” or anything. That’s impressive.

Interesting Hyphenations:
4. Jordan Henriquez-Roberts (Kansas State)
3. Markhuri Sanders-Frison (California)
2. Miles Asafo-Adjei (Cornell)
1. Francis-Cedric Martel (Richmond)
While Asafo-Adjei is great, it doesn’t beat a hyphenated first name.

Great Last Names:
3. Brian Qvale (Montana)
2. Michael Ojo (Lehigh)
1. Kelly Olynyk (Gonzaga)
Anytime you have a “q” that’s followed by a “v” instead of a “u” you have my vote. Ojo is simple but awesome. Olynyk takes the cake because it has two “y”s only separated by a single letter in the middle of the word.

Great Initial Names:
3. G.J. Vilarino (Gonzaga)
2. J.T. Tiller (Missouri)
1. O.D. Anosike (Siena)
G.J. is so hard to say out loud that it’s hard to figure out why anybody would name their kid that. J.T. Tiller just sounds like somebody you don’t want to mess with. O.D. is a set of initials that I can’t imagine anybody wants.

Interesting Spellings of Names:
5. Khris Middleton (Texas A&M)
4. Julyan Stone (UTEP)
3. Jewaun Long (Murray State)
2. Marqus Blakely (Vermont)
1. Jaxson Myaer (Utah State)
Marcus with a “q”? Chris with a “k”? Julian with a “y”? Juwan with an “e”? Jackson with an “x” is the best though.

Miscellaneous Great Names:
5. Marquel De Lancey (Old Dominion)
4. Gani Lawal (Georgia Tech)
3. Quincy Pondexter (Washington)
2. Beau Levesque (Saint Mary’s)
1. Quincy Acy (Baylor)
Two guys named Quincy are here even though their last names are the real reasons. Beau is so weird that when it combines with a last name with a “q” it gets some points.

Great Names Stemming from Lost Bets:
1. Isiah Thomas (Washington)
In case people don’t know, Isiah Thomas got his name because his dad lost a bet with a friend during the 1989 NBA Finals. He was a big Lakers fan and had to name his kid after the Pistons’ point guard which his wife approved because she wanted a biblical name anyway. Awesome.

Great Use of the Apostrophe:
4. Da’Sean Butler (West Virginia)
3. Tre’Von Willis (UNLV)
2. E’Twaun Moore (Purdue)
1. J’Covan Brown (Texas)
Trevon is already kind of a name, so just adding the apostrophe in the middle is unnecessary. E’Twaun Moore is the only time I’ve ever seen an “e” used as a pre-apostrophe letter. J’Covan mixes the idea of adding a “j” to a name with just making up a name like “Covan.” I approve.

First Names That Sound Like Nicknames:
7. Vee Sanford (Georgetown)
6. Junior Cadougan (Marquette)
5. Scootie Randall (Temple)
4. Scoop Jardine (Syracuse)
3. Jimmer Fredette (BYU)
2. Pooh Williams (Utah State)
1. Tweety Carter (Baylor)
While Vee and Junior are kind of lame, and Scootie could have been better if it was “Scooter,” Scoop, Jimmer, Pooh, and Tweety are pure awesomeness.

Great Foreign Names:
25. Greg Somogyi (UC- Santa Barbara via Hungary)
24. George Odufuwa (North Texas of Afghan descent)
23. Hamidu Rahman (New Mexico State of Nigerian descent)
22. Victor Ojeleye (Kansas State of Nigerian descent)
21. Mangisto Arop (Gonzaga via Canada via Sudan)
20. Vassy Banny (Montana via Ivory Coast)
19. Mezie Nwigwe (Robert Morris of Nigerian descent)
18. Bandja Sy (New Mexico State via France)
17. Omondi Amoke (California of Nigerian descent)
16. Ilija Milutinovic (Oakland via Serbia)
15. Nikola Knezevic (California via Serbia)
14. Deniz Kilicli (West Virginia  via Turkey)
13. Steve Tchiengang (Vanderbilt of Cameroonian descent)
12. Obi Muonelo (Oklahoma State of Nigerian descent)
11. Bol Kong (Gonzaga via Canada via Sudan)
10. Mouphtaou Yarou (Villanova via Benin)
9. Mfon Udofia (Georgia Tech of Nigerian descent)
8. Samardo Samuels (Louisville via Jamaica)
7. Arinze Onuaku (Syracuse of Nigerian descent)
6. Festus Ezeli (Vanderbilt of Nigerian descent)
5. Deividas Dulkys (Florida State via Lithuania)
4. Kwadzo Ahelegbe (Northern Iowa of Ghanaian descent)
3. Ali Farokhmanesh (Northern Iowa of Iranian descent)
2. Ekpe Udoh (Baylor of Nigerian descent)
1. Al-Farouq Aminu (Wake Forest of Nigerian descent)
I wouldn’t pronouce “Tchiengang” correctly if you gave me five guesses. There’s just something about the simplicity of Bol Kong… Mouphtaou Yarou is just fun to say. Udofia sounds like a country that one of these guys might be from. Samardo is just a freaking cool first name, no wonder it’s Jamaican. Festus Ezeli is unlike any other name I’ve heard. Dulkys sounds more like an insult than a name. Kwadzo is so strange I don’t even know what to say. Ekpe Udoh is more fun to say than Mouphtaou Yarou. But all of these are behind Al-Farouq Aminu because it souds like a Harry Potter incantaion.

Interesting First Names:
18. Asown Sayles (Ohio)
17. Savalance Townsend (Arkansas- Pine Bluff)
16. Xavier Henry (Kansas)
15. Markieff Morris (Kansas)
14. Kawhi Leonard (San Diego State)
13. Zahir Carrington (Lehigh)
12. Darington Hobson (New Mexico)
11. Wellington Smith (West Virginia)
10. Zaire Taylor (Missouri)
9. Alzee Williams (North Texas)
8. Kahmell Broughton (Houston)
7. Raason Young (Montana)
6. Jocolby Davis (East Tennessee State)
5. Demontez Stitt (Clemson)
4. Draymond Green (Michigan State)
3. Ishmael Smith (Wake Forest)
2. Martavious Irving (Kansas State)
1. LaceDarius Dunn (Baylor)
Darington and Wellington are not first names. Zaire is a country. Kahmell may be Superman’s cousin. I was unsure if Draymond was pronounced dray-MOND, or DRAY-mond. It turns out it’s the former. Ishmael is useful for Sporscenter anchors making literary references. The fact that he goes by “Ish” making him Ish Smith is just a bonus. Martavious is greatness but it just doesn’t get to the beauty of LaceDarius.

What do you think? Did I miss anybody? Was their an injustice in the rankings? A category you would have liked to have seen? Everything is up for debate in the comments below.

Now go vote for your favorite sitcom in our annual tournament.

Popularity: 1% [?]