When Tiger sits down in front of the microphone Friday morning, don’t expect the moment to be like it was 14 years ago when a sound bite became part of his first commercial as a professional golfer.  This will be no “Hello, World” type moment…though, it could have been.  No, not a big flashy smile, here comes golf’s savior, but an opportunity for him to show the world that he was truly sorry for what he has done.  Well,  at least appear sorry for what he has done.   Let me state that I don’t care if he is sorry or not, but whether or not you want to admit it or not, the morality police are everywhere and larger than you think.  But, there are so many people that want to see Tiger act this way.  The companies that are a part of the Tiger Woods brand want him to appear contrite.  It shouldn’t matter because he is just a golfer, but this is the world we live in.  People want their A-list celebs to be an open book to them, and to not be drug addicts, swindlers, and adulterers.   But if they do stumble, they want to see them be honest in their search for redemption.

I am not someone who has ever worked in PR, nor have I ever concoted a damage control strategy. But, even as a layman, I know that the manner Tiger is being handled is pretty poor.  He and his people really should have taken a page out of Alex Rodriguez’s book from a  year ago.  About this time last year, A-Rod had come under fire following the release of Selena Roberts’ book  that exposed him as a steroid user.  At first, Alex and his PR team bungled it trying to make Roberts look crazy and obsessed while conceding to only a tiny admission.  Fans did not buy what A-Rod was selling, and eventually he held a press conference in Tampa in which he gave a statement and answered questions from the media.  Now, A-Rod’s statement was something that was read, most likely what Tiger will do this weekend.  The statement in itself is not what really mattered to people.  It was not written by Alex, nor will Tiger write his own.  What bailed Alex out of months and months of scrutiny from the media, and from a lot of fans, was the Q&A with the press.  Alex allowed himself to be exposed, and for the most part, he handled it well.  He was already understood as socially awkward, so it is hard to truly judge how forthcoming he was with answers, but there were times where genuine remorse seemed to be present. Whether or not that is what he was expressing, only Alex really knows, but it seemed good enough for the press, and again, a lot of fans.

Team Tiger has hand-picked members of the media to be present for the press conference tomorrow.  Tiger will read/recite a statement apologizing for his past indiscretions and likely detail some of his plans in moving forward in his personal and professional life.  Hey man, that’s great.  But people want to see that other side of him, the real Tiger.  Ya know, that side that is cool and calculated in everything that he does. That guy who allegedly banged every waitress he wanted from the Perkins to Ruth’s Chris.  People now know of his existence and want to hear from that Tiger.  They want him to answer questions from the media.  They want to seem him adjust himself and squirm in his seat when he hears a question that makes him a little uneasy.  They don’t care if he answers questions perfectly or the way they hope he would, they just want to hear it come from Tiger and not a speech writer.  Hell, get the questions beforehand like the President of the United States does at his press conferences.  Just don’t have something written and robotic, because it comes across as written and robotic.  Yeah, the hardcore golf fans of the world don’t give a hoot, but those aren’t the ones that increase the marketshare of golf products or boost the ratings of golf tournaments.  They are a dependable staple; this isn’t for them.  This is supposed to be for all those others who prior to Thanksgiving 2009, only watched golf because of you, Tiger.  Not only are you losing them as fans, but so if golf.  Just answer some questions.   You have avoided them for months, and that is not how the game is played.  Ugh, and would it hurt you to allow a few media members that you are not comfortable with?  Barry may not allow the Fox News journalist to ask him a question, but at least he allows him a credential.  By hand-picking everyone, that is making you come off extremely elitist (which you are, I get that), petty, and disingenuous.  Ya need to man up.  Don’t believe talking heads and columnists that say they just want to see you hit the golf ball again *cough* Michael Wilbon *cough*.  They are full of it.  They just want to stay in your good graces in hopes of landing the first sit-down interview.  This is the media, they care about it all.

Tiger has an advantage over Alex Rodriguez.  Tiger didn’t cheat in his sport, he cheated on his wife.  Yes, with several different women, but still.  We aren’t really shocked by it.  We are more shocked by the sensationalistic detail of the affairs he has carried on, and it just seems extraordinarily strange in hindsight how cool, calm, and calculated Tiger was on the golf course, but foolish and sloppy he was with his personal life.  Most of the best at their sport have been busted for cheating and nobody cares.  Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Muhammad Ali, Mickey Mantle, hell, even A-Rod, and nobody really cared.   For heavens sake, we know of multiple Presidents that got their rocks off with women that weren’t the First Lady.  The only people that cared about Bubba’s indiscretions were the Republican-controlled Congress and the way-right wing voters.  The rest of this country didn’t care.  But Tiger is coming off completely pompous about the cheating, and that is turning people off.  Tomorrow should have been the time to get some people off his back, but now it is just leading more people to pile on.

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