Picking the Super Bowl…The Tecmo Way.

A couple days ago the good people at EA Sports (here in Orlando) ran a simulation of the Super Bowl on their ultra powerful and perfected Madden 2010 video game. Seeing as I don’t really play many vid’ya games, and I cherish the ones that were much simpler (i.e. – 2 buttons) I ran a little simulation of my own.

TECMO Super Bowl is to sports video games as the slam dunk is to women’s basketball. Before it came along, they were basically useless. (Oooooh. Pot shot at women’s basketball)

Indy wins the toss, elects to receive. Their first two plays from scrimmage were incompletions, which shouldn’t shock anyone because Jeff George is their quarterback. Wishing to save his canon, they called a 3rd down run with Albert Bentley. It was as great call as he darted for 20 or so yards, but he ended the play by fumbling it. Sam Mills recovers for the Saints. Pat Swilling gets jealous…very jealous.

The Saints come out and run the crazy flea flicker on the first play, resulting in a 40 yard TD pass to Eric Martin. NFL analyst everywear start calling it a bullshit college play and resfuse to recognize the score.

Saints 7 – Colts 0

The Colts open on the next drive by giving the ball to Bentley again, this time ge gets about 15 on the ground. Jeff George subsequently throws two incompletions and the Colts are forced to punt. Indy fans pat their heads and rub their bellies.

The Saints hand off to Ironhead Heyward who rushes for 50 on the first play from scrimmage, followed by a Dalton Hilliard 35 yard run. Steamrolling through the feeble Indy line, the Saints decide a pass would be smart. From the 9 Steve Walsh misses wide open receivers not once…but twice…and after realizing he’s not worth a shit, a 3rd down run by Ironhead comes up inches short. The same team taht ran a flea flicker on their first play takes the easy 3.

SAINTS 10- COLTS 0

After a three and out (Ahem…Jeff George), New Orleans trotted back on the field and…FLEA FLICKER!!!!!!!!!!!! for 30 yards.

They line up and RUN THE FLEA FLICKER!!!!!!!!! TWO FLEA FLICKERS IN A ROW! Touchdown Saints!

NFL Analysts declare this game to be a fallacy and demand the Colts be awarded the Lombardi now. Chris Petersen calls his attorney, he thinks someone stole his playbook.

SAINTS 17 – COLTS 0

The Colts drive to their own 34 and miss a 51 yard field goal attempt before the half.

Awesome Blimp. Balloons. This Super Bowl Halftime is everything the Who wanted.

The Saints take the second half kickoff back 70 yards, but only net a field goal after their fourth attempt at a FLEA FLICKER!!!!!!!! was stuffed on 3rd down. Drama ensues as the field goal hits the upright and banks in.

NFL analysts all declare that that 4th attempt at a FLEA FLICKER!!!!!!! failed because it was college bullshit, and someone had to put a stop to it.

SAINTS 20- COLTS 0

After a short kickoff the Colts manage a 30 gain from Bentley and follow it up with a 20 yard pass to Jessie Hester to put their first points on the board. Jeff George walks to the sideline flicking off his teammates.

SAINTS 20- COLTS 7

The Saints put together a small drive, thanks to their two backs, as Walsh misses on all five of his attempts. The 50 yard field goal attempt goes off the upright, giving the Colts rather generous field position.

Jeff George, as he always has been great at, takes advantage of this and hits Bill Brooks on a 60 yard touchdown pass as the quarter expires. The air is certainly back in Indy’s sails…like a fluffer on a mission.

SAINTS 20 – COLTS 14

Throwing caution to the wind, the Colts onside the opening kick of the 4th quarter, and it’s recovered by the Saints. The first play from scrimmage is a Dalton Hilliard 60 yard TD scamper. Indy fans make sure to not vomit on their replica jerseys.

SAINTS 27 – COLTS 14

Morten Anderson blasts the kick off to the back of the endzone, and for some reason the Colts attempt to bring it out, they start at the 2 yard line…

INTERCEPTION! Jeff George throws it right to Robert Massey. He wonders how the skin didn’t rip off Massey’s hands.

Indy’s D steps up and sacks Steve Walsh twice, but allows him to get away with a 20 yard rush on third and goal to put the game away. Sad face.

SAINTS 34 – COLTS 14

After going into quit mode and trying to run the clock out, the Saints get the ball back on a missed Indy field goal. Feeling like violating the Colts they hand off to Heyward who runs 40 yards to the 1, giving them an easy score.