Week 9 is in the books.  The upsets were afew, but the solid college football was aplenty.  Gather ’round and listen up…

I would offer a handshake, but I got USC’s defense all over my hands…I cannot figure out for the life of me why the media completely blew off how downright awful the USC defense was Saturday night. If ESPN can spend 1/2 hour analyzing baseless Tom Cable domestic abuse stories you’d think they’d hit up the real abuse…

Did you know…when Pete Carroll was hired at Southern Cal back in December of 2000, the Southern Cal athletic department received around 2,500 phone calls, letters, and faxes from disgruntled alumni and donors saying they would withhold donations and season ticket purchases until Carroll was dismissed?  How’s that been working out?  I think it’s OK.  Between the end of the 6-6 first season (the 2001 season ended with a 10-6 loss to Utah in the Las Vegas Bowl) and Saturday’s loss at Autzen Stadium to a top 10 Oregon team, the Trojans have compiled a 88-11 record.  Among those 11 losses, Saturday’s to the Ducks was the first by more than 7 points.  All that being said, the Trojans got freaking housed at Oregon…and in the process resembled whiny babies looking for penalties on every positive Oregon play.

Which brings me to my next point…No team that gives up 600 yards of total offense and has two losses should be ranked as high as the Trojans are.

Kinda like a Warren Sapp Rumba…there’s an interesting, yet ugly, dance going on in the polls between Southern Cal and Ohio State.  More on that below…

Quack…No I’m not forgetting about the Ducks (which is just as wrong as not mentioning USC’s defense). I was wrong (Ed Note: Sparty wasn’t). They’re freaking good, and could probably beat just about anyone in the country. Had it not been for a bad night in Boise (insert your own witty ”Boise sucks” joke)…

I’ve got a witty “Boise sucks” joke…Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Idaho, a Boise State grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.  As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting “This is for the Fighting Irish!” as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, “This is for the Gators!” Seeing this, the Idaho grad walked over and shouted “This is for the Vandals!” and pushed the Broncos fan off the side of the mountain.  /BRILLIANT!!

If I were Kenny Rogers for one day…Just go ahead and pencil Texas into the National Championship game. Their final 4 regular season games are UCF, at Baylor, Kansas, and at Texas A&M. After dusting off that slate, they’ll beat some gimp from the Big 12 North for the conference championship.

Speaking of gimps from the Big 12 North…or one that could have been, NDAMUKONG SUH(!!!!) was cited for negligent driving for his involvement in a Saturday night car wreck in Lincoln, Brasky.

Speaking of gambling…I made it through the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party without breaking any body parts, lacerating any major organs, without having to use a towel as a pillow, without sleeping in a ditch, and without some Georgian barking in my face. When the betting lines closed Friday, the odds were pretty high that one of those would happen…it was the first time the original four roomies were together in a social gathering since August 2008.

So, we’re out partying in Jacksonville Beach for Halloween…and the Dawgs and Gators start coming out of the woodwork (game had just ended).  I made it a point to tell every one of each that made eye contact with me that their outfit was scary.  Then I told them I’d be here all week and they should try the veal. (Trey Note: That probably went over better than me commenting on some dude with a tattoo’d face having a great Halloween costume…damn)

Not all went well…If you threw down some action on the prop bet with “the blue Halloween spray hair dye that ‘Kiki hit me up with when I wasn’t paying attention” would not come off my scalp…Congrats.

Yeah, the game…Continuing my inept babbling, the game was very somber this year. Georgia fans had pretty much confided in themselves that they were the Matthew Poncelet of the college football world this weekend. Florida fans were hoping we wouldn’t eff this up and be the subject of torment for hours. Overall, most Dawg fans kept to themselves.

You know times are tough with Jaw’juh…when the frequency of a Dawg fan barking in your face drops from 16 woofs/minute to 0 woofs/minute.

Did the Dawgs do themselves any favors showing up in Jacksonville dressed for a funeral???  Probably should have saved the black helmets for Tennessee Tech next week.

I’m usually not persuaded so easily…I’ll admit it now. I was making my way into the Tim Tebow isn’t as great as I thought he was crowd. Then, Saturday happened. The numbers might not be all-world, but there is no one more important to their team then Tim Tebow.

Except for Brandon Spikes! Look out EYES…Here comes Brandon!

So, did Tebow and Spikes kiss and make up, or not?  Look, I never even entered the Tebow isn’t as great as you guys thought he was camp.  The guy has little-to-no help this year.  People seem to forget that Florida lost 3 games before Tebow was awarded the Heisman in 2007.  Then, they went out and lost the bowl game.  Why?  Because Tebow was the entire offense.  This season, it’s a little different.  Yes, Tebow effectively is still the entire offense, but the other players around him are just that much better than two years ago, so the Gators can pull out ugly wins over middle of the pack teams.  The next four weeks bring games against Vandy, South Cackalacky, Florida International, and Florida State…also knows as 4 wins, on paper.  With Tennessee’s win over the Roosters, Florida is guaranteed the SEC East bid in Atlanta on December 5.  There’s a lot of pressure, internal and external, that comes with being the #1 ranked team, and Florida has shouldered that all season.  Tebow, particularly, may be the biggest face of a program ever (<– not ridiculous hyperbole…dude’s been in the spotlight going on 4 years now), so the pressure is even greater on him.  The guy is a good football player.  Try this resume on for size: A Heisman Trophy bookended by two BCS National Championships to go along with 5 total losses as a starter. (Ed Note: Looks like Spikes will get suspended…for ONE HALF of the Vandy game.  Come on, Herban, your boy got caught red-handed.  That’s gotta be worth a game, right?)

It’s like New Coke, but sucks even more…Duke has one ACC loss. Is David Cutcliffe that great of a coach or does the ACC really blow that bad?

David Cutcliffe is a good coach…he proved it in two stints as Offensive Coordinator at Tennessee, as well as his time at Ole Miss, where he just so happened to take the Rebels back into relevancy.  Anyone that doubted Coach Cut could lift Duke up to Spurrier-era levels was delusional, or just hadn’t been paying attention.

Zooked!!! Just when you thought he was done, the Illinois administration threw their support behind the Zooker. He responded with one of those “heroic” Zook wins that prove how awesomely bad of a coach he can be with all his talent.

I don’t know anything about Zook…except that I wish he was still coaching Florida.

Chaaaaaaaaa-ching...The scream coming from Ford Field after the Wolverines got blown off the field Saturday. A 6-6 Wolverine team will undoubtably be in the Pizza Pizza Bowl (formerly Motor City Bowl) to play Central Michigan and determine a true state champ.

Once they turned to page 2 of the playbook things just seemed to take off…You have to be impressed with the way Iowa pulled out what was a close game against Indiana. After figuring out Indiana’s secondary is made up of 3 sewer rats and a Kenmore refrigerator box, they managed to pull some big plays out and put the Hooisers away, just like a National Championship caliber team should.

Well lookie lookie…Lane Kiffin got the better of Steve Spurrier!

Euphoric…that’s how I felt.  Tennessee is 4-4.  Of those 4 losses, only one was by more than a touchdown, the 23-13 loss at Florida.  Yes, I’m a delusional homer Vol fan.  I’m really struggling not to look ahead to the final 4 games – Memphis (the clash of my alma mater’s), at Mississippi, Vandy, and at Kentucky – and write them down as wins, but the way the last three games have gone makes it extremely hard not to envision an 8-4 finish to the season.  If you had told most Vol fans that 8-4 was possible, most would have scoffed at you the way Al Davis does at Kiffin.  Why?  Because 364 days ago was Monday, November 3, 2008.  Tennessee had just lost 27-6 at South Cackalacky and Phil Fulmer was preparing for a press conference announcing his firing.  By the way, guess who made an appearance in the “Others receiving votes” category in both the AP and the Sports Information Directors Coaches polls! 

S&F Rankings Analysis:
There aren’t a lot of surprises and movement in Week 10’s polls.  Predictably, the ranked teams that lost took a hit, some dropping out altogether (looking at the ‘Eers, Gamecocks, and Rebels), and others dropped to a more merited position (Southern Cal, Okie State, and Va. Tech).  Refer to the below table (click twice on the graphic to enlarge to full size…two clicks, not a double-click):

Immediate Observations…Iowa is still getting little love on both human polls.  The AP voters still have Iowa as the worst of the undefeateds.  Performance-wise, it’s hard to argue differently.  However, the computers in the BCS equation must love the Eastern Goldfinch (a.k.a. the Wild Canary) because the human polls average out to a 7-ranking whereas the BCS standings are holding the Hawkeyes steady at #4.  Bammer showed us something new this week…how to lose during a bye week, as all three polls dropped the Tide down a spot.  Ultimately, as we’ve preached for a few weeks now, as long as the Tide hang around that top 3, they control their own destiny on December 5 in the Georgia Dome.  Now, to the above-referenced ugly dance between Southern Cal and Ohio State…check out the three polls: the AP voters think the Trojans’ victory over the Buckeyes and their following resume is worth three ranking positions whereas the Sports Information Directors Coaches think the Trojans blowout loss in Eugene may have been bad enough to trump their victory in Columbus, resulting in the Acorns a spot ahead of said Men of Troy.  After reviewing the two human polls, the standings with the final say (BCS) look even more inexplicable with Ohio State having it’s worst ranking of the three polls and Southern Cal being tied for its best ranking of the three.  It’s ok if you’re confused, so is Jim Tressel.

Week 9 Contributors: GatorTrey, Mizerle06

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