The Eastern Conference Champs raise their banner this evening and drop through on a new season…THIS GUY will be there to partake. Of course I’ll be running out of the game and speeding home to catch the World Series, but ’tis the pain of making sure I get the “mini-banner” giveaway.

I’ll be hanging with Mr. Cooper (aka RedRaiderClay), his female-like creature, and of course the wonderful wifey. Unfortunately she has been under the weather lately and while most would suspect it to be the R2D2 Flu that the media is caught up in, I told her that based on my scientific background and research it’s probably the bubonic plague or the early stages of polio.

She pleaded that it was neither, but I dismissed her non-sense by offering her an assortment of patent tonics and oils that I carefully researched in a 1873 copy of the Physicians Desk Reference. After several attempts to get the correct bleach to castor oil ratio down I simply turned to Sleepytime tea. You see that bear? That was my wife last night…minus the fire (it’s in the 80s here still) and the cat (cause cats are vial beasts) and the night cap (because those only exist in cartoons and remakes of A Christmas Carol). Hopefully she’s feeling better this evening!

Looks like the UConn police have made some arrests in the stabbing of Jasper Howard.

How awesomely desperate do some Phillies fans get for tickets? Well this particular fan decided that she’d do anything for two tickets…ANYTHING! (Yes… That.)

The Haunted World Series.  10 things that would make the World Series a nightmare.

Speaking of which Derek Jeter was on The Biggest Loser…have at it.

Braylon has been charged! Let’s see the City of Cleveland drop these charges after Braylon’s professed love of the franchise, the city, the state, and/or anything else that Ohio has produced…(Besides Urban Meyer of course)

Fantasy Alert!!! Because it’s useless news for a ‘Skins fan. Much like their playoff hopes…Chris Cooley getting ankle surgery, done for the year.

Helmets on refs? Could happen in 2010.

Bob Griese has been suspended one week by ESPN/ABC for his comments about Juan Pablo Montoya’s love of tacos…When sought for a comment he could not be reached because he was off shucking corn.

Big Baby gets in fight…breaks thumb…out 6-8 weeks…owner pissed…says he’s NOT Big Baby anymore…fin.

Iowa’s Adam Robinson is out for the regular seasonwith an ankle injury. It’s big for the Hawkeyes, but I have a feeling they’ll find a way to keep winning. Nothing else has stopped them.

Florida shooting guard Nimrod Tishman has been cleared to be mocked…Seriously…I hope this kid’s game is better than his name.

More college basketball…Kentucky is doing everything they can to protect UBER recruit John Wall.

How dangerous is Under Armour in the athletic apparal market? VERY. Not even the recession can hold them down.

Hard being the new girl at the BCS Headquarters…(worth a look, promise)

Pau Gasol on CSI?

If you haven’t seen VeryFakeAlDavis on the web or on Twitter…do so. Here is his most recent statement.

I leave bearing the words that my ancestors have passed on to me…

TO HELL WITH GEORGIA!!!!!!!

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