Wow, it would be just about as fast to name the Top Ten teams that won this past weekend than it would to name those that lost.  Oklahoma should be happy they didn’t play Saturday, otherwise they may be on the bad list: Mississippi, Penn State, Cal, Miami.  What do all of these loser teams have in common?  They all lost to birds of some feather: Cocks, Hawks, Ducks, and Hokies, respectively.  You just can’t get this kind of analysis anywhere else, people.

Like dropping an f-bomb on Saturday Night Live, that wasn’t supposed to happen…Bears aren’t supposed to lose to Ducks, right?  When a Bear sees a duck, does he just holler “ScoreboardFoodchain!” not unlike they with the ever-changing uniforms did to them with the ever-underperforming  football team?  Not on Saturday, I guess.

Trey: That was probably one of the worst outings I’ve ever seen from a top 10 ranked team…Even if they rip off the next 5, every voter should think twice about putting them in the top 10.

(Warning: The next several comment all center around a certain perceived superhuman) No confirmation to the rumor that He’s scheduled to rise on the third day…Wanna make a few hundred thousand people simultaneously crap their pants?  If they happen to reside in America’s penis, aren’t excited about getting Free Shoes, and aren’t loving the meat between a “t” and ”v” alphabet sandwich, then simply tell them Tim Tebow was taken to the hospital.  That should do it.  By the way, your Monday stock tip: Kimberly-Clark…sales of Depends shot through the roof on Sunday.  Oh yeah, despite Tebow and a couple of other players’ “upper respiratory illness” and then then Tebow getting knocked the eff out, the Gators didn’t miss a beat (and, extended their win streak over KY to 23 straight games in the process). 

Trey: My response to that hit as it happened was “WOW” followed by the slow realization that he wasn’t getting up. Needless to say the next 5 minutes was quiet in the GatorTrey household.

How do I get in touch with those boys from Guinness…I had a record number of text messages hit my cell phone a few seconds after that hit. My favorites:

- “Oh F*ck!!!” – Mom (there was no star)

- “RIP Tebow” – RedRaiderClay

- “Is Tebow hurt? I just thought I saw him go down.” – Random Friend

Because I needed to hear what made up a Floozie again…the biggest name in college football in decades goes down and ESPN goes to a commercial selling overpriced useless tailgate items…Good timing.

Miz:There wasn’t a more perfect time for that commercial.  A bunch of people that may not have been watching tuned in at that instant giving the Floozie it’s best exposure ever! 

Was Jacksonville, FL the only place in the country where it wasn’t raining on Saturday?  For serious, throughout the day, I probably was switching around between 10 different games and every one seemed to be in the middle of a downpour or just finished with one.

Trey: Swear on my coffee…The recession was ended by the rise in consumer spending on ponchos.

The doom didn’t result in gloom for the Bulls…So that Matt Grothe (Big East career total offense leader) injury really took the air out of the U of South Florida season, eh (/canadien’d)?  Guess not.  In comes redshirt froshie B.J. Daniels…who just so happened to grow up in Tallahassee only to be shunned by the Noles when the recruiters came calling in high school.  The Seminoles are back!!! will have to wait till 2012 to get any revenge.

Trey:That is definitely a program changing win for the Bulls…who cares if FSU is really bad, Jim Leavitt and staff can now walk into a big recruits house and say come to USF, you’ll have an opportunity to hang with the big boys.

More on this later…But, Bobby Bowden really needs to step down…for the health of the program.

Miz: The FSU alum and lifelong fan/supporter that sits across from me at work wholeheartedly agrees.

Lyle Lanley convinced me to spend all my money on a monorail and screwed me…Why? Why did I convince myself Miami was some superstar team? I had this argument with Sparty back in August…Miami is an average team with a lot of young talent that needs time to come around…If they give Randy Shannon that time.

Miz: Maybe somebody should have listened to me last Monday (how ’bout we just ignore those picks from Friday…)?

So, the fact that it wasn’t a distractionthat the male Meechigan fans couldn’t bring their purses into the stadium…helped the team, right?  I mean, surely Tate Forcier missed not having his purse too?  You know what else helped the Wolverines?  The refs…yeah, the refs.  Maybe you didn’t see the play live.  I did.  My wife did.  We both had the same reaction after the referee review upheld the interception called on the field, “Wow, Indiana just got hosed.”  There’s no telling whether the Hoosiers would have scored in those final moments, but now we’ll never know…and the Big Ten commissioner’s office should be receiving a package any day now containing a video with a note attached, postmarked Bloomington, IN 47405.

Trey: In those final seconds, I saw my dreams of Indiana in the BCS flushed away with Michigan’s shot at impressing voters.

Are the Bulldawgs that good or are the Tigeauxrs just that inconsistent?…I remember thinking when Missy State hired Dan Mullen to replace Sly Croom last Winter, that it wouldn’t be too awful long until the Bulldawgs were competitive in the SEC West.  And, it definitely didn’t take long as Missy State made the Bayou Bengals hold them on 4 downs at the goal line preventing the go-ahead touchdown for the win.  Former Florida coordinators seem to do well at their first head coaching stop.  Even though he was a product from a different regime, you may have heard of a certain Robert Anthony Stoops (known as “Bob” to everyone that’s not his mom and dad).  Yeah, he’s done alright for himself too.

Trey: He’s good.

WTF?…Why does Iowa own a 7-1 record against Penn State in their last 8 disagreements?  Seriously, I would like some kind of explanation.  Does Kirk Ferentz have incriminating video or pictures of JoePa playing illicit bridge games for money?

Seriously bro, it’s not that cool…Can we now put ______ outs to death??  It certainly didn’t help FSU and Penn State.

Contenders/Pretenders…I mean, seriously, is there anyone else that would like to step up this year?  We know we’ve got Florida, Texas, and Bammer as contenders…for now  But, the real question is who else will really seperate themselves from the field to join those three?  Maybe that actually doesn’t matter and the real real question is who will step up to beat each of those teams and bring them back down a notch? 

Trey: Which is why any team that has lost a game to date is not out of it…/looks over at those boys from Ohio State and USC.

We have some nice parting gifts for the Huskies.  Tell ‘em what they’ll receive, Rod…Well, Pat, After climbing up into the AP rankings last week at #24 and garnering enough votes from the coaches for an equivalent #31 ranking, the Huskies wet the bed against the feared Cardinal of Stanford.  We have no parting gifts and there’s no need to remind them to spay and neuter…Stanford took care of it already.

Overrated/Underrated: ONE QUESTION…Seasons with several upsets?

Trey: Overrated…It’s nice to see teams go down, but honestly did the season get better when USC went down to an average Washington team? Do we gain anything from Penn State losing to Iowa at home? No.
Miz: Just right…I don’t think it’s a great or terrible thing.  It’s just part of college football, and it’s nothing new.  In fact, it’s rare that a truly great team steps up and goes undefeated.  Even though some conferences as a whole are perceived as weak, conference schedules are just too brutal for most teams to emerge from unscathed.  We haven’t had an undefeated national champion since 2005; it’s just too hard to do. 

The Sparty & Friends Rankings Analysis:
There were a lot of movers and shakers in the polls this week, lots of double-digit rises and falls.  Apparently, Iowa is a world beater with their 18 spot jump in the AP (13 in the Coaches)…because they beat #5 Penn State, right?  Or, was it because they beat a more appropriately ranked #15 Penn State?  Who knows.  The Coaches don’t seem quite as crazy, but that’s probably because graduate assistants and/or sports information directors are casting the ballots.  Anywho, check out the shuffling (click to enlarge…we had to shrink it to fit on the page):

FAIL…What was with that camera angle and lighting in that Purdue-Notre Dame game? I’ve seen high school stadiums that looked better…

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