Good Morning. I’m back after taking a week off to celebrate going from a newlywed to an old married guy. Miz filled in admirably, although it was kinda creepy when he encouraged you to tape me “curling my hair in the nood“, since I’m 1/2 bald. I did go the traditional route on the gift, a framed poster of me and the missus’ favorite movie. Before you call me a cheap bastard, I also picked up the tab for 3 nights here. This place is only 4 miles from my house, so although I am an old dood, I am also sooooooooooooo 2009 by going on a staycation (gheyest word ever). This is yet another perk of living in a place many people work 51 weeks a year just to spend a week at.

I’m a Mets fan and we aren’t going to recover, but I really hope anyone but the Phils get Doc.

The piggy flu is killing people in my neck of the woods at an alarming rate, but it looks like the Ranger’s are through the worst of it.

I say, if the tourney is in Canuckland, then everyone should have to putt with hockey sticks, that way it wouldn’t look like a round of mini golf.

Miami>LA. Believe it.

Could only happen to the Royals, I mean, seriously?

Looks like this dude is going to make it, but what a freak thing.

I bet he could get more if he put his virginity on EBAY.

Best. headline. ever.

Always tough being a legacy.

Homer post. So what.

The home run king* speaks out.

Just because: Craigslist rules! Seriously?

patphish is a contributor to Sparty and Friends. He is old and according to redneck standards, wealthy. Email him at patphish@spartyandfriends.com

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