Good Saturday morning!  And a happy weekend to you, too!  I haven’t been this jacked for a weekend since, like, last weekend!  I’m back at the Mizerle Manor and would like to give a shout out to American Airlines for allowing me to spend an extra 45 minutes in the airport last night waiting for my bag to be loaded onto the carriage in baggage claim.  Good times.

So, what happened around here last week?  I was a little bit off the grid whilst in St. Louis.  They do have internet there, just not for me.  So, you know what I did every day to get my news?  I read two newspapers!  Yes, they have those there too.  I consumed USA Today and The Wall Street Journal every day.  I felt so incredibly sophisticated reading from print and staining my fingertips that I just had to show anybody who could see me how sophisticated I looked every morning.  I would go to this diner called Chili Mac’s for breakfast every morning and sit at the diner bar and read my newspaper over my wrecked eggs (diner-speak for scrambled) and blonde in the sand (diner-speak for coffee with sugar and cream).  I imagine my level of sophisticated-feelingness rivaled the emo-feelingness of the losers always hogging all the tables in bookstores with their laptops. 

Since I spent the week reading newspapers, I basically spent the week reading old news.  Seriously, I read a story in USA Today about how Nick Saban would be appearing in a movie called The Blind Side.  Hmmmm…where have I heard that before??

A precursor to a fundamental change in how we are legally allowed to write TMA’s?

Does this mean no more Affliction shirts?  If so, this is a sad day for douchebags everywhere.

Who knew that Holliday and Halladay weren’t the same guy?  Not me…I just thought it was a terrific example of a classic GatorTreo.  /really

The courts agree with NASCAR…Jeremy Mayfield is a meth head.

The ‘Ol Ballcoach says the omission of Tim Tebow on his ballot for 1st team All-SEC was a mistake.  I believe him.  Except that I believe the mistake is someone filling out the ballot not named Steve Spurrier. 

I like stuff like this: A pictorial of the 16 perfect games since 1900.

Marvin Harrison could be on the verge of some real trouble.

Dale Jr: “Don’t blame sagging ratings/attendance on my sucktitude.”

Speaking of sagging attendance, NASCAR will be turning left at Indy this weekend and could be short of a sellout by roughly six figures.

College football traditions Part I and Part II.

I hope you all have a great Saturday and Sunday! 

Mizerle06 is a senior writer, editor, and sometimes copy-editor.  You can drop him a line at mizerle06@gmail.com.

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