Wake up LA! I know it’s 11:30 PDT, meaning most of your popualtion is JUST rising after a night of Appletini’s and cous cous. No time to sleep now, your city is in the NBA Finals!

It’s the little guy from Orlando attempting to talk smack. Lets start here. You guys think you have this one in the bag. Kobe is going to finally win one without Shaq, and I’m not going to deny, objectively, there is a very good chance. But please, don’t thumb your nose at Orlando.

There are several similarities between the two cities. But please let me differentiate between the two.

- Orange Counties…Yes, Los Angeles isn’t IN Orange County, but close enough, while Orlando sits smack dab in the middle of the same name.  You’ve had multiple MINDLESS TV shows named after the county, most of them catered towards prepubescent teenagers who wish to live some glamorous California lifestyle.

Things that are missing from Orange County, California related shows…

1) Every resident’s emphysema cough from the smog

2) The Tri-Annual wild fires

3) The lack of water to control said fires

4) The multiple STDs you can pick up just by making out with somone.

- Disney…Most of the Disney big wigs house themselves in LA, a habit that started with Walt Disney himself. That being said, Walt Disney decided to build another theme park because he admittedly screwed up with Disney Land. No wait YOU GUYS screwed up Disney Land. Which forced  him to want to start over…Disney World has become a worldwide destination that blows “the Land” out of the water.

California Adventure? Where’s the part where your car gets jacked and you have to walk bleeding through the streets to seek help…plus World > Land.

- Urban Sprawl…LA invented it, Orlando refined it. Sprawl = Traffic. Thanks LA…jerks.

-  Celebrities…This may shock you but Orlando actually has several celebrities that live here. The most popular is obviously Tiger Woods, whose mansion in Isleworth should have some Saudi princes crying. We also have EVERY other golfer who ever existed…Plus the reason you won 3 titles this decade…Shaq, who still keeps his home here…Sure you have all of  Hollywood …You got us beat…but at least our celebs are doing blow off a granite counter at some shit trendy nightclub. 

Bring it on Hollywood, we still owe you one for the whole Shaq thing.

Popularity: 6% [?]