As you all know, we still have zero idea as to where guyinthecorner is. The last know sighting of him was when he dropped Joe Saunders for Max Scherzer on May 5th.  He started this post about 3 weeks ago, and we decided to finish it for him.  All of his work is in Purple.

I, Guyinthecorner, will answer all questions for Jeremy Tyler in order to convince you all that his actions are correct. In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, Jeremy Tyler is taking a professional basketball gig in Europe after finishing his junior year of high school in San Diego. He’s considered by many pedophiles to be the top high school junior in the country. Now for your questions:

Brad: Why does Jeremy Tyler have two first names?
Me: Why am I named GuyInTheCorner? You don’t know, and that is exactly why I think parents have become lazy in naming their children…No effort whatsoever, I had this discussion with a friend the other day while playing World or Warcraft.

Martha: Why Europe and not South America?
Me: There is a South America?

2LeGit: Do you know what GED stands for?
Me: Of course I do. It’s what you need to play basketball at the University of Maryland. Gary’s Exemption Document

Some Redneck: Any truth to the story Gary Williams offered Jeremy Tyler an endless supply of women and a Bentley to go to Maryland, but you decided that still wasn’t enough?
Me: No, Him completing hi junior year of college will surely earn him a scholarship to a much better school than Maryland. Plus, I don’t think you could pay a recruit enough today to have to hug a drenched Gary Williams after a big win.

Sparty: What are your plans when you complete your epic failure in Europe?
Me: He won’t fail, no kid out of high school has ever failed at anything. This 17 year old is making the mature and smart decision to travel 2000 miles away from his family to play basketball against adults in a foreign country he’s never been in, with fans who throw road flares at the players during games. No way he fails, this is what all 17 year old basketball players in America should do.

The Guys at Major League Jerk: At what point does he begin practicing saying “would you like fries with that?” in front of a mirror?
Me: What are you talking about? I’ve watched over 900 hours of basketball this year alone. This guy is going to be a less educated version on Shaqwilt…That is the fictional son of Shaquille O’Neal and Wilt Chamberlain I made up while staring at the clouds last week. Shaqwilt went on to win 14 NBA titles.

High School Science Teacher: How many teachers have you “slept” with?
Me: Myself? Only Mr. Foster, my 9^th grade Algebra teacher…Ooooooh you meant Jeremy Tyler. How would I know?

PatPhish: While he’s there, do you think he’ll say hi to Khalid El-Amin?
Me: They could beco…wait Trey wants to answer this one
Trey: I think their relationship will grow, they’ll have a kid together, El-Amin will act like it’s not his and fail to pay child support.
Me: My dream guy…sigh…

Steven A. S.: What pick will he be in the NBA draft in 2011?
Me: First, teams should just start tanking now. It’s so obvious that this guy is the same type of stud Kwame Brown, Tyson Chandler, Eddie Curry, and Desagna Diop were coming out of high school.

Trey: Could you beat him 1 on 1?
Me: I’m pretty good, I ran ball on the streets of New York…that was until I jammed my left knee. It’s like jamming your finger, but with your knee. It hurt and effectively ended my career

Thanks everyone for joining me today so I can give my defense for Jeremy Tyler’s early defection to Europe. Off to watch a Friends marathon!

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