“Nothing could be finer…North Carolina is your National Champion.”

How bad has Nantz become? Blogs were predicting what he would say…and NAILING it.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I missed Billy Packer last night. His curmudgeon attitude and style usually controlled the “Wannabe Al Michael’s”  from throwing out 300 prepared one liners on college basketball’s most important night.

Nantz: “Nothing coming up green for Michigan State.”

Seriously? How about Michigan State is playing like shit. We don’t need one of your metaphors to keep us tuning in.

Nantz: “This has been a case of CSI: Detroit, Lawson trying to steal that trophy.” (per Awful Announcing)

Sweet, a little plug for a TV show that makes up 30% of your network’s weekday programing. You were just WAITING to work that one in, right Jim? I’m sure it will be at the top of your list when it comes to contract renegotiations.

Nantz: “They’re trying to give some fan-injected fuel, but only getting fumes.”

Ah, I get it. Detroit. Cars. Fail.

Nantz: “This state has been hit especially hard. They are trying to find a way to make so many people happy.”

We understand, the auto industry is tanking and jobs are being cut left and right…but do you really have to reiterate that in last 3 minutes of the game? I mean, it’s over…and regardless the economy wasn’t going to spring back from this game. Win or lose, people are still going to be sitting at home jobless tomorrow. It was a nice story, but please, quit making it more than it was.

Sadly, here’s the sad part…It wasn’t just Nance:

Kellogg: “Hansbrough went for a lower body root canal on that foul”.
Nantz: “Lower body root canal? I don’t want one of those.”

The first sign is denial…

Kellogg: “I didn’t know if I could get any more excited, but I am amped up two more levels for tonight’s action.”

Geez, least we know Clark isn’t scripting. And if he is, he didn’t prepare well.

Kellogg: “Michigan State wants to get a good shot every trip.”

Clark, maybe John Madden wasn’t the guy to go to for advice…

Kellogg: “They are the epitome of the spurtability team.”

Huh?

Ya this article was too easy, but I am frustrated. Good announcers can make the shittiest of games bearable. This was not the case.

I’m 99% sure that most married males in America were begging their wives to tell them about their day at some point during the game.

I’m 99% sure that at least one college student got alcohol poisoning from a record score in the Jim Nantz Drinking Game.

I’m 99% sure that Nantz and Kellogg thought they were shitting gold from their mouths.

I’m also 99% sure that I wouldn’t mind Billy Packer by himself at this point.

Regardless…sorry…this was way too easy.

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