
Sources out of Idaho and South Florida have both confirmed that Junior Florida Quarterback Tim Tebow has won the 1st annual Sparty Heisman Memorial Trophy. The voting was very close, with Tebow barely edging out grossly overrated sophomore Sam Bradford from Oklahoma. Here is how the votes broke down:
Name 1st 2nd 3rd Total
Tim Tebow 5 1 2 29
Sam Bradford 3 3 2 26
Colt McCoy 0 4 2.5 14.5
Graham Harrell 0 0 1 1
Knowshon Moreno 0 0 .5 .5
The 2 voters that had Tebow 3rd were seen sharing a crack pipe between Boston and the DC area.
Being granted unprecedented access (being that this is the first award it couldn’t have been precedented), our source conducted interviews with many of the voters (ie, they emailed some crap to the source). Some of the best insight came from a voter who has watch his own team be bitch-slapped by Tebow for 3 consecutive years:
“I think Tim Tebow is this player not only as a result of his proven skill and athleticism, but the additional leadership, emotion, and drive he fuels his team with for 60 solid minutes of football every Saturday”, eloquent words from a redneck, eloquent indeed.
The voter that is a member of Gator Nation had these thoughts: “A week ago, I honestly would have gone McCoy, but the 4th quarter comeback by Tebow in the SEC championship game was too much. There is no player more valuable in the country to their team than Tim Tebow”. A lawyer once told me that when someone says “I honestly” the next4 words are a lie. Maybe we could have a lawyer weigh in on that.
One of the Bradford voters dropped this gem: “Numbers don’t lie. But look for Tebow to have a”Vince Young” type title game if Bradford gets the trophy and Tebow is second”. Does anyone think that Tebow would have been extra motivated because Bradford won a trophy from a crappy website?
And another voter could not seem to grasp the concept of voting for a top 3, so he voted for a top 6, with some guy named Ringer finishing 4th, 5th and 6th. Wonder why nobody else voted for him? I think this guy was right on. (edited by Sparty)
The south Florida voter with no dog in this fight, had this to say: “Tim Tebow is ridiculous. Jorts and all, he is what football is all about. Did you see him telling his defense to get a stop and he would win the game in the SEC title game? For a moment I though he was going to take the field, line up at defensive end, force a fumble, recover it, say God Bless you to Coffee, then win the game. I have watched 30 years of college football, I love the game and consider myself an expert. The 3 greatest players that I have seen are Herschel Walker, Barry Sanders and Marshall Faulk. Tim Tebow will enter this list as soon as he leaves, and if he comes back for his senior year, he very well may top this list. And for those that don’t think he won’t succeed at the next level, I agree that he may not be an every down QB, but bring him in for 10-15 snaps a game like when he was a freshman behind Leak and he will succeed. Who thinks he can’t run the wildcat as well as Ronnie Brown? He strikes me the kind of guy that no matter what he chooses to do in life he will be successful. We all know or knew guys like that, which to me is why some people can’t stand the guy.”
So congrats Mr. Tebow on a job well done. You have been granted voting rights for life by Sparty and Friends, and if you choose to vote next year we will let you just pick the winner. Heres the guarantee that he has backed up as well as any guarantee ever:
[polldaddy poll=1193956]
Popularity: 4% [?]
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there be 3 of you that are complete morons.
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that guy and his teams are both losers!! ha ha!
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Tebow is looking kinda black in that picture….
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he looks like he mights murder somebody too. kinda scary.
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Shanny, somewhere, is being mean to his monkey.
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is that a euphamism for masturbation, marco?
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no, he really has a monkey. his name is spank. Spank the Monkey.
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monkeys are funny. chickens too.
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and that, my friends, is how a comment thread goes on a wild tangeant. lets slow it down for a replay:
Tebow wins S&F Heisman –> Shanny squeezes one off –> chickens are funny
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+1, miz. that made me giggle.
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we should unofficially nickname this afternoon the sparty and mizerle show with a sprinkling of marcomarco.
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where is all my knowledge that I dropped
/hangs head…shakes in disbelief
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um…i’m gone for a little bit….
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here’s the best shit that was ommitted by one patphish:
If Tebow was a Big XII QB he would no doubt win the Heisman…that’s what sucks about the award. All three QBs have had awesome seasons but there is no way to compare them apples to apples because of the different conferences. The best formula in my mind is to compare the defenses they played against (by ranking) which dilutes McCoy and Bradford’s numbers…Here’s proof
Sam Bradford – Average Rank of Defenses Faced = 72
Colt McCoy – Average Rank of Defenses Faced = 81
Tim Tebow – Average Rank of Defenses Faced = 42
Numbers wise Bradford will probably win….Parlay those numbers to Tebow with Comparable Defenses and TT would be a unanimous decision.
One final though to add…Sam Bradford is a Sophmore…and in order to win the Heisman as a sophmore you have to do something transcendant like Tebow did last year…the 60+ppg was a team achievment..not an individual acheivement….due to this and other reasons i stated before…Tim Tebow will join Archie Griffin as the second player to ever win two Heismans…and there is a real chance he comes back next year….3x Heismans? Three out of four BCS NC???
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Whenever the Heisman is handed out, expect one of the following headlines on ESPN.com:
“The Real McCoy”, “Sam I Am / I Am Sam”, “Tim Terriffic / Tebow Redeux / Tebow Times Two”
You know it’s going to be one of those.
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“Sam the Man”
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or “Tebow Wins Heisman”
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Twice as Nice?
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“Jorts Win Again!”
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Ooooh, Twice as Nice. That’s not bad Mikey. Almost like you had some experience in this online writing thing
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Shopping sucks.
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You actually out in physical stores Trey? Online is where it’s at.
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ive penned an article or two
pat didnt use any of my nuggets…
/repeated for emphasis
//is my insight no good? is it too serious?
///was i not supposed to give a real arguement?
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your argument contained stats and facts and stuff. Plus it was all about some trophy called the Heisman, and who was going to win it.
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Phyiscal stores. You gotta understand, I suck at shopping online.
Why? Who knows, last year I ordered 3 weeks before Christmas from Amazon, and it came in time for Easter.
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We need more user polls on our this blog.
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dan like poles
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man am i bored….what kind of poll should i put up…i havent done one…ill do one now
you want a heisman poll?
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there you go cycle dan
i gave you a poll
/unintentional mikeyzone’d
// wasnt talking to myself
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Regardless of what we say, Sam Bradford has won the Heisman. I can give out the secret to how I know this if you want. It is a website that gets the ballots of random voters and tallies them. They are never wrong and are always within three and half percent of the vote.
Right now it looks like this:
Bradford – 60.8
Tebow – 55.2
McCoy – 53.1
Harrell – 2.4
Greene – 1.4
It should be noted that Tebow leads Bradford in 1st place votes though. It looks like Tebow was either voted 1st or 3rd and Bradford was either voted 1st or 2nd and therefore Bradford will take it.
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cheeeck out the tebow quiz!
http://www.tebowquiz.com
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gitc is such a wet blanket.
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