If only LT had broken his larynx instead……….

During my youth in central Connecticut, 2 things seem certain every year, the Whalers would suck and either the Niners or an NFC East team would paste the Broncos or the Bills in the Super Bowl every year. Then something happened. Parcells left, Gibbs retired, Jimmy and Jerry couldn’t co-exist, Reggie went to the tundra, LT got old, Troys jaw got exposed, and guys like Handley, Turner and Campo showed up. The division went from beast to least in a hurry. Last season was a resurgence, 3 teams made the NFC final 6, and the Giants did the unthinkable. Fine, its Sparty’s blog……………The World Champion New York Football Giants. Of course the NFC sucks, neither the G-men or the Skins would have even made the playoffs in the AFC last year.

This is not the best division in football. It may be the most competitive and balanced, but it is not the best. It is however the toughest to handicap. I grew up surrounded by guys that root for these teams, (I was the Jets fan in the Richard Todd jersey that got mocked), they all still think the NFC East is where God would go to watch football on a Sunday afternoon. They are wrong of course, since God put his stepson on the Jets this year to defeat Satan, leader of the Pats. Anyway, the breakdown:

Cowboys 12-4

Dallas fans be wary, Tony Homo is turning into the second coming of Peyton Manning Dan Marino. Huge stats, great regular seasons, loser when it counts. The defense is good, Barber is an animal, T.O. still has fuel in the tank, Witten is better than Gates, the o-line gets it done. Two things about this team bother me. 1. Wade Phillips. I remember when he became coach of the Broncos. I was watching some training camp crap and one of the players was talking about how they loved the “new atmosphere” after Dan Reeves (3 Super Bowls) left. The players no longer had to wear their helmets through all of practice, they could remove them and sit on them if they weren’t actively involved at the time. He of course was fired after 2 years (with Elway in his prime), going 16-17 and losing control of the team. Enter a new asshole coach (Shanahan), promptly win 2 Super Bowls. Look familiar? Big Prick Tuna leaves, team goes soft, (yup, the Cowboys are soft like Jessica’s Godzilla Biscuits), can’t win a big game. They haven’t won a playoff game since this.                       2. Romo. He seems to love the spotlight……………off the field. The Seahawk debacle was a tough break, the ball got away, it happens…………..to guys that lose. The Giants game was unforgivable. After they had 2 weeks to get ready for a team they freaking manhandled twice during the season, at home, and he hits R.W. McBigmac with his biggest pass of the year? I’m calling it now, the Cowboys will win a playoff game, host the NFC championship game as a touchdown+ favorite, and choke again.

Eagles 9-7

Same old story here, a year later. McNabb is still good, but the line is suspect again. Westbrook is the second most dynamic player in the game, (and had the greatest/worst fantasy play of all time last year), but it really is a question of when, not if he’ll get hurt. I know he’s been relatively healthy the last 2 seasons, but 4000 yds is a ton on a guy his size. The receivers still suck. The defense is…..meh……..boring? Samuel is a nice signing, now he gets exposed by Burress, Owens, and Moss as a “system” guy. This team has no identity, and the fans will be there usual classy selves I’m sure. Go boo Santa or something.

Skins 9-7

The Zorn era begins. They spent the second half of last year running on emotion. Sean Taylor’s death and the love of Gibbs made them play out of their minds. The secondary, even without Taylor, is insane. Landry, Springs, Smoot, and Rogers. AYFKM? Way good. London leads a nice group of backers. The D ain’t the problem. I am not totally sold on Campbell yet. I think he will develop and improve this year, but their O-line is ancient. Every starter over 30.  Not good. Moss has 3 insane games wrapped around 13 forgetables, they better hope Malcolm Kelly is more like Art Monk than Brandon Lloyd. I wouldn’t be shocked if the won 11. Also wouldn’t be shocked if they lost 11.

Giants 7-9

What a run. I mean, seriously, how the fuck did these guys win it all? Though not the worst team to win a title, they may have been the least likely. I still can’t drink the Kool-aid. Eli. I just don’t get it. I thought his CAREER was on the line after the shitfest that was the Vikings game last year. 3 pick 6’s. IN ONE GAME! Then Shockey leaves the huddle and the kid can’t lose. While he is closer to the QB we saw in Glendale than the int machine in the Meadowlands that day, he doesn’t have another Super Bowl run in him again this year. Great teams rarely repeat. Miracle teams don’t get close. The loses of Strahan and Osi will be too much. They made the other 9 players out there WAY better. They will get scored on early and often, not react well, and lose games they won last year. Coughlin should have retired, he got the guys to buy into an us against the world mentality, it will wear thin this year and the team will splinter. Remember in 2006 the players hated his guts, and he somehow kept his job. It won’t happen again.

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