Typically I like to give our guest writer’s a nice long intro.  Mikey from the 100 Year Itch does a good job for for himself.  We are thinking of bringing him on here full time, but first let’s see if he has the chops…

Normally I am a baseball blogger…and as such my blog is about baseball. I realized I was going to be pretty bored over the winter just leaving snarky comments on everyone else’s blogs and I would end up losing my mind. So I had this brilliant idea to ask Sparty if he needed any writers for the winter. I volunteered to write about the Pac 10. I don’t quite know what I was thinking because I am an SEC guy, specifically a Gator fan (Insert Tim Tee-Blow joke here).

Anyways, USC football is shoved down our throat here in Los Angeles, so I think I have enough information to spew about how this is essentially a one team race, and no on else is even close to USC. Alas, it is a Pac 10 preview which means there are nine other teams to consider. I just have to figure out how to say something nice about them…because in reality they are all looking up at the Trojans. So, as you read this preview you will realize there is less and less information about the teams under USC. This is mainly because there isn’t much to talk about…but chiefly because most of you guys have east coast bias and could care less anyways.

Ranked Teams

USC

I could spend 1500 words telling you why the Trojans will win the Pac 10…but that would be like John Madden insulting your intelligence and telling you things you already know. Maybe, it would be more like Tim McCarver actually thinking he is educating you when he explains baseball….Well, you get the idea.

So, depending on what poll you believe, the Trojans are either second or third in the nation, right along with Ohio State. With Georgia locked in at number one in all three polls, and knowing they won’t be there at the end of the year; you have to consider that USC and Ohio State could be playing for the National Championship. One of them will have at least one loss as the Buckeyes travel to the Coliseum to take on the Trojans on September 13^th. No matter who loses the game, there will be plenty of time to recover in time for title game consideration. If you are going to lose, do it in September not in November.

After the OSU game, the Trojans should run the table against the rest of the Pac 10. If there is an upset game, it would come in at the hands of Notre Dame. I don’t bring this up with a full degree of seriousness or conviction; it is just that USC has lost to UCLA and Stanford in the past couple of years in games they should have dominated easily. This is why we highlight the Irish…if you can’t look past Charlie Weis’s crew…who can you? Right after typing that last line, I got my validation on ESPN….Lou Holtz pontificated that Pete Carroll always wins the big games…well, if we forget that “big game” versus Texas, he has a leg to stand on….Bigger point though – does he tend to over look the little ones?

If USC is going to go to the title game, they are going to do it on the defensive side of the ball. This is part of the reason we see them playing for the national championship. Defense always wins.

Finally, to make it to the title game this year the Trojans may need help regardless. Some reliance will need to be placed on SEC teams decimating each others chances by taking wins from one another. More than likely, at least one of the two teams playing for the BCS crown will be a one loss team …This is why USC has a great shot at another title. Losing only to the eventual number one team in the nation will be worth more than an SEC title.

Worst case scenario is a Rose Bowl victory against Illinois. Remember when the Rose Bowl was really important?

Our prediction…11-1 (Loss to OSU)…Loss Avenged in Title Game???

Arizona State

The Sun Devils are ranked…but are they really? How much of the ranking has to do with Dennis Erickson? Every internet column I read while researching this column seemed to slurp Erickson. The fact is this team is going to live or die by Rudy Carpenter…more specifically his ability to remain upright. Fifty Five sacks last year didn’t let this talented passer achieve jack shit. Will anything be different this year? If not, they may not approach 10 wins.

The Sun Devils have a tough schedule, and no matter how talented Carpenter may be he isn’t going to beat Georgia by himself. No way that they beat USC. Both Oregon teams should beat them, and we also think that Nueheisel’s crew will be figuring out things late in the year and they will take out ASU too. Not sure which, but we also think Cal or Arizona will lay it to the Devils as well.

Prediction 7-5

Oregon

Oregon is ranked seventeen-ish in most polls….mainly because year after year they have the most fucked up uniforms in college football. No one wants them ranked too high because the networks would be forced to carry their games, which in turn would mean we would be forced to look at those fucked up uniforms week after week in the featured college contest of the week. By ranking the Ducks lower, the much wiser coaches and media ensure we do not have to see these uniforms on a regular basis.

If you can get past the uni’s you will notice that outside of USC – the Ducks have one soft schedule. How would you like it if your favorite team had an out of conference schedule that pitted you against Utah State, Boise State, and Purdue? Outside of USC, the Ducks toughest challenge is ASU! For some reason though, we have them shitting the bed against Oregon State.

Dennis Dixon is gone – so it may all boil down to how this team takes the loss to USC. Feel good about hanging in after getting blown out….11-1….. We don’t think they will feel good about hanging in. Easy BCS berth though.

Our Prediction 10-2

Unranked Teams

UCLA

Man, if I hear one more thing about Rick Nueheisel I am going to fucking puke. I know that I am bringing up old news with this ad…but for fuck’s sake, you think you would try to win a few games and gain some momentum before you started talking shit. Funny how that ad is tailor made to fit on a bulletin board. Seriously though…this team is going to be lucky to win five games!

I have no doubt that QB Rick will be able to start recruiting better talent, but he is inheriting a 6-6 team…zero chance to improve on that this year.

Our Prediction 6-6

Arizona

Of all of the teams in the Pac 10, this Arizona team is the one people are looking at to beat USC. These same people are predicting that the Wildcats will lose to UCLA and Cal. In turn, these people have USC beating both of those teams. Like I said in the USC preview, the Trojans always seem to fuck away a game they should win…but it won’t be Arizona. Arizona is good enough to warrant USC’s attention, but not good enough to beat them.

The Cats have a soft start, which will give them some confidence. But Cal will bring them back to reality – and it will only get worse from there.

Our Prediction 6-6

California

Am I getting tired, or is it time to talk about the biggest sleeper in the nation? This is the team that I am not going to predict a win loss record for. Why…because I don’t want it to come back to bite me in the ass. I don’t see them winning more than nine games honestly. USC is an automatic loss, so you have to look at Maryland, Oregon, and Arizona State as other potential losses…but the reality is, they could beat any of them.

Our Prediction… Cubs win the NL Central

Oregon State

We don’t want to pretend to know what the Beaver is going to do this year. After all, I am on my second marriage. I don’t know what my current beaver is going to do, let alone Oregon States Beaver. Like most beavers, the OSU Beavers could upset a few guys…. wait…this is a football preview…I meant “upset” a few guys like last years guys that played for second ranked Cal…but in reality their big wins are usually offset by crippling losses. Non threat.

Prediction 8-4*

* they will upset someone

Division II Teams

Washington

Rumor has it that Washington is interested in Charlie Weis…coincidence? I think not…

Our Prediction – We don’t give a fuck

Stanford

A team that has to go to out of conference opponents to get a win…Pros: Tiger Woods and John Elway are alumni…Cons: Michelle Wie is Currently Enrolled

Our Prediction…Pretty Sure You Don’t Care

Washington State

It’s getting to be about that time that I am beginning to realize that I am glad that I am an SEC guy. You can find positive things to say about most of the teams. But what the fuck can I say about Washington State? The only shot to win games are created by their out of conference schedule. I am pretty sure you aren’t reading this anyway. Let’s test to see if you are still paying attention. I am a Cubs fan. I have a Cubs website. I am also a Gator Fan…I think that the Gators will actually play in the BCS Championship against USC. I think the Gators win in an upset. OK…just to keep pace with the format of this post, I have to pretend I am holding true to the format.

Our Prediction ….1-11

Two teams of relevance – USC and Oregon….and then the rest of the story. Cal may find a page in the book before it is all over…But in the end  – the title is USC.

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